This isn’t what I planned on writing for my blog.
I was well into researching and note taking on an entirely different topic. But there’s been something else knocking at the door of my plans. Today, it kicked the door down. This won’t be very long, but I think it will be helpful to someone.
My Bible study group has been reading about the prophet Elijah in 1 & 2 Kings. I personally like Elijah. He’s funny, bold, and sarcastic. He stands up to Ahab and Jezebel publicly. Then, he doesn’t die. He gets taken to heaven in a fiery whirlwind of horses and a chariot. Cool stuff! So, let’s talk about the scene where he is getting ready for the showdown with the prophets of Ba’al.
First, my apologies. I am not going to recount the exiting parts of the confrontation. But if you are not familiar, you can read all about it in 1 Kings 18. The part I am going to focus on is Elijah’s preparation for his sacrifice to God.
After Jezebel’s prophets plead, cry, and cut themselves to get their god to act, nothing happens. So Elijah begins to prepare for his offering to God. He starts with repairing the altar. He gathers the stones to represent the 12 tribes and sets to work (1 Kings 18:30-31).
This resonated with me.
My journey with God has been mercurial on my end. It would be great and close at times. Then, I would experience disappointment and pain and I would shrink back from Him like a wounded animal. My experience is far from unique. I think many of us have a textured faith journey. Highs and lows. In the low points I would tear down my altar to God. Shaking my fist at heaven while I did so. I was done with Him. Never coming back.
Eventually the good times return. I pray and read my Bible regularly again. But I never rebuilt the altar I had for Him. I let it stay crumbled and broken. The disrepair would be my silent reminder that He would probably let me down again. My sign to stay vigilant.
Have you done that? Have you gotten mad at God and used your torn down altar as a barrier between you and Him? Pretended it was a shelter when it really just prevented you from communing with Him?
I think everyone has been there.
Back to Elijah.
He repairs the altar. The word used there is the Hebrew word rapa. This is the word for heal. I find that so interesting. Elijah HEALED the altar to the Lord. Immediately I think of a wound that has been mended.
Even as I write this I cannot help but pause and reflect on this word and it’s use here. I look within my soul at my crumbled altar. Broken by my own hands, my own will. But broken because of hurt, pain, rejection, and disappointments. My altar bears the story of my wounds. Yet, I want it to be healed in order to bear the goodness of God and His consistent love that held my tears and anger with the same tenderness as He held my heart.
God’s healing of our hearts and our lives are part of His invitation to relationship with Him. The only caveat is that we HAVE to allow the healing to happen. Much of that will begin with the forgiveness of the people that caused the pain. Whether it is church, family, friends, enemies, etc. they must be forgiven by us.
Then, the building materials can be gathered. They are joy, love, peace, time with God and getting to know Him better. A healed and repaired altar brings an important part of our relationship back into the mix. Worshiping God with what we offer to him. Our praise, our sacrifices of time and talent, our sorrow and lament can all be laid on the altar when it is rebuilt.
I encourage you to do the deep work of examining your altar to God. Is it broken? Is it completely destroyed? No worries, it can be HEALED! God wants it healed and believe me, you do too.
God and I are working on my altar right now. There are times of great progress and times of deep, slow and steady healing. But we are getting there and I feel the repair happening in my spirit. And when it is done, it is going to be awesome.